


Get what you want

by MissMegara



Category: Figure Skating RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 16:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1751624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMegara/pseuds/MissMegara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can't always get what you want.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get what you want

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of pure fiction, consisting of fictional characters living fictional lives.

Living in Canada is hard for me. It's a strange new place and everything is different here. Not only the language, but that's probably the worst thing of all. I left behind everybody I know, and now I can't even make new friends, because I think I've lost the ability to express myself.

My mother encourages me to go out and meet other people. But it's hard for me, and there are already enough hard things in my life. I like my solitude.

But there's this one guy at the Club, another student. Javier. Javi. In the beginning it's not easy for me to pronounce his name correctly, but right from the start it's very easy to be around him. 

My English is beyond horrible, his at least average. Most of the time we communicate by using a mixture of gestures and random word salad. It doesn't always make much sense, but somehow we still make it work.

I envy him for being the person that he is. He talks to everybody, even though it's not always easy for him as well. He's friendly and nice and somehow always seems to be happy, even on days when he's not in a good mood. 

It's good for me to have him around during practice. He makes me question how I do things and makes me work harder just by being there.

He pushes me, but not only with my skating. He makes me go out into this new world that I try to avoid at all cost. Every other weekend he meets up with some skaters from various Clubs and they go out to have dinner at a Spanish restaurant. His idea, of course. And everybody follows him, because everybody likes him. How could they not?

He knows that I'm not completely comfortable being there, that I came only because he wanted me to. But he makes it so easy for me to say yes despite my reservations, because I know that he will help me. I know that my friend will not leave me alone in this.

His girlfriend is also really nice to me. She even offered to help me with my English studies, gave me her email address and told me to contact her if I ever needed anything. I can understand why he likes her so much.

I think he realizes that I look at him differently than at the others. But he doesn't seem to mind. And it certainly never makes him back away from me.

My second year in Canada he gets me a birthday present. He asks me if the wrapping is ok, because he remembered that I once told him that this was somewhat important in Japanese culture. That alone makes me smile before I even open the little box. 

He got me a key chain with a tiny little Pooh figurine on it. He says he had to think of me when he saw it and that he knew how much I would love it. And I do love it. I thank him for the present, and he gives me a hug that lasts just a moment longer than they usually do.

The Olympics must be one of the most exhausting things I've ever gone through. Between competitions and practice and media appointments, there's very little room left for me to breathe. I'm lucky to be surrounded by people who support me. I greatly value and admire all the other skaters of my team, and working with them gives me a different kind of stability that I need to get through this.

But still, I'm even more glad that Javier is able to be here. Training with him nearby keeps me focused in this surroundings, and spending my spare time with him helps me to free my mind. We actually don't spend all that much time together right now, but I cherish every moment that we have.

The competitions start and they finish. It's all over in an instant and I still have trouble to process and understand everything that has happened. 

I won. Somehow. I wish I could have won by showing the best of me, and not by being the one who made the least mistakes. That's what they all say and I'm starting to believe it. But somebody has to win and it happens to be me this time. 

I should be happy. I am happy. I guess I should be ecstatic, but somehow I'm not. It's not like I'm sad or disappointed, because I know I can be proud of what I've accomplished. I've worked so hard to get where I am now. 

But there are other feelings I can't define. They are crushing my insides and extinguish the last spark that I need to feel nothing but happiness about his moment.  
And I think it shows.

Javier insisted on accompanying me to the medal ceremony, but the way he's been staring at me the whole time makes me feel uneasy.

"You don't look as happy as you should. You know that you're about to get your medal, right?"

I nod and I smile. Usually that combination is a very effective way to answer questions I don't want to answer with words. But with him it sometimes doesn't work.

"What's the problem?"

"I'm just tired."

"Nobody can be that tired. You're getting your medal. You won your Olympic Gold Medal. Isn't that what you always wanted?"

Again I try to smile the question away, but his eyes are demanding an answer.

"Yes, it is what I wanted. It just doesn't feel real yet." 

He looks puzzled, and I don't get why this would be so hard for him to understand. It's not like he had never won an important event. Sometimes the feeling just takes a while to kick in. He should understand. 

I still have a hard time to express my emotions in English. I'm also not quite sure why I feel this way, and I don't have the words to describe my irritation.

"It's no problem. I will look happy out there."

I can only guess what he wants to hear from me, because the look on his face confuses me more and more.

He turns to one of the staff members and asks her how much time we have left until I have to go on stage. I think she said something about 15 minutes, and next thing I know Javier has taken my hand and drags me down the hallway. The staff lady yells after us and doesn't seem happy at all that we're leaving this close to the ceremony. 

But for some reason I don't protest and let him lead me through the corridors, around corners, past other people, until he pulls me behind a head-high pile of boxes. He moves to the side, grabs me by the shoulders and pushes me with my back against the wall. 

I can hardly see anything back here. The light is dim anyway and now further blocked by this tower of wooden crates behind me. I can still hear busy people walking by on the other side, talking, laughing, in languages I've heard before but don't understand.  
And I don't understand what I'm doing here.

Without a word he takes my face between his hands, caresses my cheeks with his thumbs and leans in closely. He looks me in the eye, searching for approval, though he knows that he never had to ask. When he finally kisses me, I can feel a shiver run through my whole body. I lay my hands on his waist, if only to hold on to something because I feel like fainting. Our lips touch again and again as he keeps kissing me softly, but I'm still barely able to respond. 

He pulls away, just far enough so that our lips aren't touching anymore. His right hand is still on my flushed cheek, the other one running through my hair. His trembling breath is pushing against my mouth as if he's trying to open it this way, and when my lips finally part, he kisses me again. He doesn't waste any more time but immediately slips his tongue through my lips, kisses me hard and desirously. At times it feels like he's not so much giving me this kiss, but rather taking it away from me, as if it was not only me who has been thinking about this for the longest time. 

He keeps coming closer, pushes his body against mine and presses me against the wall. I can feel that he's breathing heavily and I'm also struggling to catch my breath. We have to stop for a moment, only long enough so we both don't suffocate. But not one quiet gasp later we both move forward again, lean against each other and start the kiss back up as if it had never ended.

I could go on like this forever, don't want it to end just yet, follow his movement whenever he leans backwards and try to keep him close. But finally he pulls away from me for good. 

I'm almost panting, partly from the lack of oxygen, but mostly due to the excitement. My mind is still spinning, and all the unloved foreign words in my head make now even lesser sense than they usually do. "Why?" is the only thing I'm able to utter out loud.

"Because you needed a reminder what reality feels like."

In the pale light I can see him smiling. His fingers are stroking my hair, carefully putting the tousled strands back where they belong. Once more he palms my face and breathes one last gentle kiss onto my lips.

"Because only today you get everything you always wanted."


End file.
